𓃦 10/16/24

Last couple of days have been a bit of a handful. In the sense of life stuff, been wildly busy between working on the barn and social stuff with circles... which includes depressive episodes in a way. However, I have a weird case of reverse seasonal depression haha, I'm better off in the colder weather than the warmer, whatever that means. Regardless, it's been a little hectic and I haven't been able to update this blog as much as I've been wanting to.

I had another neat moment regarding my nonhumanity. I've only heard the term a couple of times but I think it would fit in a way. I experienced something I think ? would be called a shadow shift. I guess to say it means I saw my coyote self in the shadows casted by the dim light of the moon. It's not a supernatural or physical shifting thing. Just something I noticed when I was walking last night. I could vaguely see my ears and vaguely see my tail behind me. It’s a little on the shocking side since I rarely ever hear about these kinds of shifts. I’ve only heard about them maybe once or twice in the community and I’ve been around since I was far too young. Though, I’m not complaining, I just find it unique and neat … regardless. It’s the full moon tonight and I’m already pumped. I plan to get fully decked out in coyote gear and just bask in it ♥

𓃦 10/8/24

Another okay morning, it's about 6am, attempting to fix my sleep schedule, meaning I happen to be staying up and busy all night and day, and sleep at a reasonable time at night! So far, struggling but we’ll make it. Regardless. Sticking on topic I guess, the temperatures have been dropping pretty greatly. I live in southwest Iowa, not a great place but it’s quiet and I live pretty much in the middle of nowhere. These times are a little odd for myself, not in a bad way but in a more of… need to get used to the changes sort of way.

I am a coyote at all times, a suntherian if you will, but when it comes to times like autumn and winter, I believe this is when I feel the strongest as myself. It’s strange but welcoming. I often can't help but imagine and wait for the days when the nights and mornings are cold enough to see my breath, and they’re finally here. It’s welcoming.

It’s sort of a strange thing, not entirely recent but somewhat recent. I would often imagine myself breathing like a coyote, were or feral. My wereself’s muzzle slightly ajar and I exhale deeply, vapor clouding the view in front of my muzzle’s view. I easily could feel how the air around me creep through my fur, ears twitching just lightly in response to the cold air biting at my more exposed skin. I feel content with the chill air, I feel that my coat has gotten thicker as a response and it’s comfortable.

It was a strong sense of me and my wereself tonight, I was truly able to feel myself and who I am. A wonderful feeling...

Alongside that, I think tonight was another bonus, these gorgeous lights would strike the skies and say hello!!

𓃦 10/6/24

This is now the first entry on this blog, hooray! This is something I've been trying to figure out for a little while now, however, I am a little slow to html or coding in general. However! Clearly this exists now so that means I came out on top and I got this going finally. At the time of writing this, it's about 9:30AM, meaning I haven't slept, pulling an all-nighter as any 20yo should be doing haha. However, I am feeling great and full of energy, finally finally getting this site where I want it to go. I am full of pride of this site, it's not great or even good, but it's mine and I feel prideful of that.

I guess, where do I go from here? Being honest, no idea. I plan to really use this blog to talk about smaller and less essay-like things regarding my day-to-day nonhumanity and my queerness, maybe my race and being of how it works with my identities, otherwise I'm still figuring things out. Regardless, I'll figure it out on the road! Hell yeah.